Stella By Starlight

Real Book, failed CD burn, note on water-stained paper, and tiny-cheap headphones.

I am terrified of talking on the phone. I don't know why. I just freeze up, and for some reason I just want to email instead. Sometimes I beg for the answering machine. But today I faced my fears, and now I have a gig. Good deal. In retrospect, it seems my fear was irrational. I guess, the phone is a commitment. You can leave an email or a text message, but if someone calls you, you can't just up and leave. I'm scared of commitment. That's why I don't have a girl. That and I'm part creeper. But I fear that I may not be committed. Or that she may not be committed. But in the end, I will figure it out. Ponder, eh.

I am Episcopalian. I love the Episcopal Church. We have freedom, and instead of just handing you a set of beliefs and rules and curriculum, we have questions. What does God mean to you? Why? If you disagree with this person, that's fine. Let's go have some drinks. We still have wine, and it tastes pretty good. There is such a variety of people, and we all love each other. We accept gays and lesbians, and they are some of the most awesome members of our congregation. The Anglican sect (Episcopal is the American Anglican) is the second largest in the world, next to Catholicism. Speaking of religion, I heard an interesting point - sometimes the people who doubt a religion also know more than the average church-goer. Because if you doubt, you think. If you have "faith," then sometimes that means you are just a blind follower. I encourage you to think about your own morals and ethics and beliefs and question them. C.S. Lewis, who wrote the Chronicles of Narnia, was originally a scientist. His goal was to prove that God didn't exist, but instead he ended up embracing Christianity. You might be thinking "'Deus ex machina' much, pal" but I want you to think about who you are and what you believe. Ponder, and also with you.

I hate bugs. And bug bites.
Go to sleep.
Good night.